Sunday, April 18, 2010

Security In Red

The wait to bring our home was possibly one of the most painful four months of my life. There were days I just cried for a child, my child, that was waiting for me. And the thing that stood in the way of me holding my baby girl was the paperwork. We received our referral in January and I did not get to hold my girl until August.

I remember taking the boys to see Up in May and there was an empty seat next to us. I cried through the whole movie. I cried for a little girl I'd never met but loved so much I couldn't explain it. I cried that she was not with us, not sitting next to her brothers eating popcorn and sipping lemonade. Then there were the days I'd cry when I was making lunches for two instead of three. We had an empty seat at the dinner table and an empty room full of little girl clothes and toys.

My heart actually hurt as I counted the days she waited in the orphanage for me. I prayed alot and honestly that's the only way I made it through. I did find peace knowing that my girl's Heavenly Father had her in his arms.

Then I saw a piece of artwork my friend Cassie Swierenga painted. It's called "Security in Red." My husband bought it for me on the spot. And my girl hung in my living room for months. During that time, I also wrote the book 1001 Tears, which is coming out in late 2012. Cassie is busy illustrating it. But after months of persuading, OK nagging, Cassie has finally agreed to sell prints of "Security in Red."

While the painting is beautiful, so is Cassie. She is the mom to four grown children, a grandma to one sweet baby girl, and a professional artist with some serious talent. I first met Cassie at a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) and was just struck by her creativity and devotion to her family. I am so excited to be working with her on our book.

If you are interested in purchasing a print of "Security in Red" please email me at The options to order are:
print size: 12X24 16X32 24X48
On paper $51.84 $92.16 $206.16
shipping up to $20 up to $30 up to $50

On canvas $80.64 $143.36 $322.56
around $15 around $15 around $15

It is beautiful and made the wait just a little easier.


  1. I'm so glad that God gave you this picture during your wait. It's when He is in the little things that I step back in awe of just exactly how much He loves us!!!

    I can so relate to your hurt. I experience it myself, and I don't even have a referral photo to stare at yet! My biggie is when we sit down to dinner and all hold hands while we pray. Soryn's seat is between mine and Eva's and every time Eva reaches "over" Soryn's seat to grab my hand, I feel my missing child's absence so strongly. And I have a feeling it will only get worse in the post-referral days when we are counting down until travel. *Sigh*

  2. I'm so glad to see that you and Tara are friends... is that how you came across my blog? LOVE her... she is a dear friend and I can't wait to see her Soryn in her arms!

    A beautiful piece of artwork by your talented friend. I know very well the tears you cried while waiting. It's hard. Some days VERY hard. I'm having one of those nights. I want to just reach through the screen and wrap my arms around our sweet girl. I know I'm blessed that she is at New Day. But the wait is still VERY hard. We've been matched since last June. There's no way I could've even imagined it would take this long. It's good I didn't know. It's hard not to grow weary, but like you did, I take rest in KNOWING that God has her in His loving arms. He predestined our moment of togetherness, and I have to trust in His timing. I have to relinquish the control I want to hold. I have no choice anyway, so it's silly to try.

    Finally...3 weeks from today we will be over the Pacific at this very moment, on our way to our precious daughter. Our time is near and I'm guessing there may be a hundred more tears that fall between now and then, but it will be a most JOYOUS moment when I can finally reach out and touch her. (I just pray now that she'll let me!!)

    Thank you for coming by. I look forward to getting to know you more in the future. Your daughter is beautiful!!