Tuesday, September 11, 2012

60 Things I Wish Strangers Knew about Adoption

1. Yes, she is my daughter.
2. Luck had nothing to do with her adoption.
3. How much did she cost? Nothing. You can't buy a baby.
4. But if you want to know how much adoption costs--google it.
5. If you want to know how to finance an adoption, I'll talk to you.
6. No, I do not know her biological history.
7. Yes, we knew she had special needs when we chose her.
8. No, we were not paid to adopt her.
9. Yes, I do realize there are a ton of kids right here in the United States that need homes...there's also kids in Russia, Ukraine, Ethiopia, and a host of other countries. When will you be adopting or becoming a foster parent?
10.  When she runs up and hugs you, she is not just a really cute, affectionate child. She has an attachment disorder, please don't hug her.
11. Your bio kid may be able to throw a world-class tantrum, but my daughter has one for totally different reasons--mostly because she is scared we will leave her--so please, please don't compare the two.
12. No, we are not infertile.
13. No, we did not adopt just to get that cute little girl we can dress in tutu's.
14. Yes, it is hard. Sometimes very, very hard. Especially the attachment stuff.
15. Yes, we have help. Professional help.
16. Yes, it costs a lot of money.
17. To see her grow and blossom makes it totally worth it.
18. She may want to go back to her birth country one day.
19. I want to go with her.
20. We will play for her college.
21. She is our daughter!
22. I know her nose is crooked.
23. That is part of her cleft.
24. And, yes, it will be repaired when she is done growing.
25. Of course, she knows she has cleft. We have mirrors.
26. She can hear you when you ask. And you're embarrassing yourself.
27. She is under our insurance--because she's our daughter!
28. No, I do not wish I'd given birth to her.
29. She is fearfully and wonderfully made.
30.  I wouldn't change a thing about her.
31. That goes for her cleft, too.
32. I'd agree that a lot of kids would thrive with their birth families even if that means being raised by grandma and grandpa or an aunt and uncle.
33. Unfortunately because of government policies and poverty, a lot of people don't have that choice. So they are forced to make choices most of us can't even imagine.
34. Even so, I believe this is Plan A for her life.
35. I also believe adoption is redemption in a fallen world.
36. Yes, she calls me Mommy.
37. No, it wasn't hard.
38. No, it wasn't love at first sight.
39. But I didn't fall madly in love with the two babies I birthed either.
40. Yes, it was scary to board a flight to China to meet my new daughter.
41. But so was going to the hospital to give birth.
42. Yes, I think about her birthmother.
43. I wish we knew who she was.
44. I wish we could tell her that the little girl she gave the gift of life to is loved, adored, and thriving.
45. She calls our parents grandma and grandpa--just like the other grandchildren. You know, because she's our daughter and part of the family.
46. No, she does not speak Chinese.
47. Maybe someday she will take a class and learn it. But language is not biologically ingrained.
48. I don't know if she has biological siblings.
49. You're right she doesn't look a thing like her two older brothers.
50. Just because we adopted does not make us saints.
51. I did not have to beg my husband to adopt. He was always on board.
52. From the first piece of paper to holding her in our arms, the entire process took 18 months.
53. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
54. For her.
55. Do my kids have different dads? Well, yes, as a matter of fact they do.
56. But they have the same daddy.
57. Yes, she does rule the roost.
58. Probably because she's the only girl.
59. Yes, she wears her tiara everywhere.
60. She is a real princess.


  1. Thank you ! I laughed, had tears and shook my head in agreement. People always say how lucky she is , really? Can't they think of anything better to say ? If not smile and tell me how cute she is !!!

    1. oh, yes, I hate the lucky comment. Seriously. ALL of these things have been said to us multiple times in the last 3 years. Sometimes you just gotta shake your head and laugh. And YES I am her REAL mother...I forgot that one. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. I completely agree with everything that you just mentioned! And we haven't even started our adoption journey yet! lol

    Thank you for joining us this week for the Southern Mama's Blog Hop!

    -Megan @ {All Things New}

  3. I am so thrilled to have your blog via southern mamas. I love this post. My husband and I have 5 children, however the Lord has placed a little Asian girl on our hearts named Nancy. I am not sure if she has been born yet or what country she will be born in but I know that God knows she belongs in our family. Cannot wait to read all your posts!
    Proud Newest Follower,
    Many Hugs for the you and the Princess,

  4. I found you through the southern mama blog hop & am so glad.

    Thank you for sharing your heart to the blog world.

  5. Your daughter is absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for posting this and for joining the link up for Southern Mama's (because I'm not sure I would have found your blog any other way!) I'm so glad you did!

  6. Thanks so much for stopping by Chasing Hailey today...I am now your newest follower.

  7. Glad you got a laugh from The Medicare Mom. I was stopped by a highway patrol today for speeding (17 miles over the limit) as I was rushing to pick up child for the dentist. I think he read the Medicare Mom. Blogspot I have on the back of my rear window, took one look at me and decided he would just give me a warning ticket. Maybe he looked up my blog on his police compuer and decided anybody my age with a 7 yr old and an 11 yr old needed a break.

    1. You have a blog sticker in the back of your window?! That is some really creative advertising. : )I am glad you just got a warning! You go girl. I bet you're a really fun Mama!

  8. Your daughter is beautiful! I'm following you back from What's Cooking in the Burbs. Nice to see another Chicagoan blogger. Thanks for stopping by my blog and have a great Sunday! :)